Just keep fighting.

Every day, I pray my pain will go away and this dark, increasingly heavy cloud of fatigue over me will dissipate... but it doesn't. The more tired I am during the day, the more my insomnia plagues me at night, and I eventually pass out, sleeping all day. Then I can't fall asleep the next night. It's a never-ending cycle.

And yet, optimist that I am, I keep hoping my fatigue will magically go away, my doctors will find a cure for my pain, I'll 'snap out of' this, I'll drink a few cups of coffee or take an Advil and be totally fine.

But chronic pain and fatigue don't just disappear.

It's a daily struggle to walk the very thin line between accepting we have an ever-present disability, and allowing that admission to derail our attempts to live a fulfilling, happy, meaningful life. 

I know the struggle is worth it, deep down. Even on days like today, when I've been up for almost 40 hours or when my joints ache so much I sob or when I can't stop pulling my hair out.

Just keep fighting.