Every day, I pray my pain will go away and this dark, increasingly heavy cloud of fatigue over me will dissipate... but it doesn't. The more tired I am during the day, the more my insomnia plagues me at night, and I eventually pass out, sleeping all day. Then I can't fall asleep the next night. It's a never-ending cycle.
And yet, optimist that I am, I keep hoping my fatigue will magically go away, my doctors will find a cure for my pain, I'll 'snap out of' this, I'll drink a few cups of coffee or take an Advil and be totally fine.
But chronic pain and fatigue don't just disappear.
I know the struggle is worth it, deep down. Even on days like today, when I've been up for almost 40 hours or when my joints ache so much I sob or when I can't stop pulling my hair out.
Just keep fighting.