Body shaming continues to run rampant, especially online.
I've written before about fatphobia, why bashing skinny girls is bad too, general body shaming & the importance of being body positive... the list goes on.
I haven't tackled ageism yet, though... So here goes!
What prompted this post was the flurry of discussion concerning the (gorgeous) Duchess of Alba, who flaunted a floral bikini on a recent vacation.
Usually 'bikini bodies' aren't much of a news item, other than on tabloid covers or celebrity gossip websites, but the Duchess garnered a lot of attention. Because she's 86.
Countless horrifying comments litter the web, such as, "she's flabby", "she looks like death", and "if I ever get that old and gross I hope someone shoots me". I haven't even included the worst of them.
Our society believes there's a very slim window, between 18 and 28 or so, when a woman 'can' wear a bikini-- and that's if she's tall and thin, with curves 'in all the right places'. Otherwise, she should be hidden beneath a too-big cover-up, if she's allowed by the pool at all.
Looks like the Duchess gave society a royal fuck you, in the classiest way possible. You go, girl!
1 Rosy Cheeks. Natural shades of pink that make you look like you just walked in from the cool Autumn air are right on-trend. Libby at The Style Dossier has some great tips.
2 Berry or Burgundy Lips. At Marc Jacobs, Shiseido's Dick Page painted models' lips rich shades and left the rest of their faces bare, save for neutral eyeshadow. Page explained, "sometimes what you leave off is just as important as what you put on".
3 Bold Brows. Elle Canada called them "spring's key feature", and it looks like we still haven't had enough of them. Smooth and sculptured or large and bushy, bigger is better.
4 Smokey Eyes. As if they ever went out of style! This season, try a glossy eye shadow or turquoise liner.
Which look is your favourite?
1 2 3 4
If you love typography and food, Typewich will make you very hungry! (via Nubby Twiglet's blog).
Me the Musical (from Intel and Facebook) is pretty entertaining.
How To Travel the World Like Hillary Clinton. I love her so much!!
This American photographer is traveling the world to meet and photograph all of her facebook friends.
Snow White and the Seven Goths. OMG the last one!
25 ways to tie a scarf, as demonstrated in a 1960s Sears, Roebuck booklet.
Calling all theatre nerds and film buffs! Playbill rounds up their picks for the five greatest films about the theatre. I love All About Eve, don't you?
Katniss Everdeen can teach us a lot about happiness.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Things I Love Friday (previously Things I Love Thursday) is a weekly roundup of things I'm grateful for & little things which made me smile. Share your list in the comments!
What I'm most grateful for this week is my mom's recovery. Last week she had emergency surgery. She's on the mend now, and I am so relieved.
I also really appreciate the kind words and well wishes from friends, family and readers. Thank you!
Little things which made me smile:
♥ Planning to take more courses this Autumn ♥ Pumpernickel bagels with lox ♥
♥ "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" ♥
♥ My dining room is cleaner than it's been in months ♥ Taylor Swift's new single ♥
♥ Exploring my roots ♥ Bright orange manicures ♥
Canadian culture is a mishmash of everything, and I love that. But trying to find who you are by looking to your roots is near impossible, when your roots are buried all around the world.
When I was 13, I started digging.
I tried Judaism first, because much of my family is Jewish (from different parts of the world, mind you). I learned Hebrew. I observed Shabbat on Friday nights. I even had a Bat Mitzvah. Judaism resonated with me, but it didn't feel entirely right.
I explored my great-grandmother's Polish/Russian heritage. I enjoyed the vodka and matryoshkas and pierogies, but that's as far as it went.
Pagan, Native, French, French Canadian, German... Something was still missing.
Then I discovered the south.
A place where a girl could be feminine, romantic and sweet, as well as strong-willed and brave. She could be stubborn, a little bit rowdy, could wear boots with her dress and eat deep fried everything if she wanted-- but she would always make time for her family and friends, her spirituality, and to offer a hand and a cold glass of sweet tea to anyone who needed it.
The cities and the tea are steeped with history. The people are friendly. Culture and hospitality are fundamentally important. I can appreciate that.
I realize that as a non-American, and being politically almost as far left as many Republicans are right, I don't entirely fit in. But that's okay.
My southern-ness and my Canadian-ness and the rest of the puzzle pieces that make up my identity can co-exist.
Back in 1937, Florence O'Donnell Maher felt the same way. This regular American woman spoke out in the form of a poem, writing, "What does he [the pope] know of childbirth? Has he labored again and again?" and "Mothers and fathers might feed one or two/but try to feed ten on one pound of stew.".
Need a laugh?
Political satirist and feminist singer-songwriter Katie Goodman (and her troupe, Broad Comedy) is here to help, with hits like Repetitive Motion Injury ("It could be from... um... making bread!"), Hummer Drivin' Man, I Drunk Dialed Obama ("I know you said you were going to be inclusive so you were being inclusive but do we have to be inclusive of them?! Don't they opt out of being inclusive by being anti-inclusive?"), and Soccer Mom Ho.
Katie's music is wildly popular and has been featured in countless publications, including Bitch magazine and the Huffington Post. It's stomache-inducingly hilarious, endlessly witty and chock-full of timely pop culture and political references.
Buy Katie Goodman's CD and/or mp3s here & watch more videos (including live Broad Comedy performances) here.
Katie Goodman's latest single, These Are the Things I Can't Fucking Remember:
1 PlainText. Type to do lists, notes or documents and they'll automatically be backed up to your Dropbox account, which can be accessed online, on your computer or in the Dropbox app.
2 Hootsuite. Schedule tweets and Facebook updates on the go. I found the app confusing at first, but it's easy to get used to and very useful for business trips or other times when you'll be away from the computer but still want to keep clients/readers abreast of what's happening.
3 Feedler. Keep up with your favourite sites via rss. This is a great way to find articles to link to on twitter, Facebook or in a link love post on your blog.
4 Skype. Communicate with friends, family and clients, no matter where you are.
5 Zinio. Flip through magazines (virtually!) to gather ideas and get inspired. The app is free and many subscriptions are free or affordable.
6 Scan Pages. Turns your iPhone into a scanner for free.
7 PayPal. Accept and send payments and invoices, no computer required.
What's your favourite app?
I'm slowly crawling out of my fatigue-fueled slump, being more productive and efficient. It feels wonderful!
This week, I...
♥ Wrote I am my own soulmate, which garnered lots of positive responses-- thank you!
♥ Redesigned the header at my writer's site. What do you think?
♥ Watched almost a whole season of Monk. Amazing show, by the way.
♥ Spent a day at the library with my Maman.
♥ Collaged, for the first time in ages. It's nothing intricate, but I'm still really proud.
Little things which made me smile:
How was your week, gorgeous?
Thanks to Olivia Munn's recent coming out as suffering from Trichotillomania, I'm inspired to write about the disorder which she and I, as well as 2-4% of people are affected by.
What is Trichotillomania?
Trichotillomania (also known as Trich or hair-pulling) is an impulse control disorder which causes the sufferer to pull out hair from her scalp, eye lashes or other parts of her body due to intense anxiety, stress or impulse. Trich is related to anxiety, mood and tic disorders as well as dermatillomania.
Who is affected by Trich?
2-4% of the population suffers from this disorder, although it is highly likely that that statistic should be higher, considering the stigma attached to mental illnesses causing sufferers to stay 'in the closet'. 90% of 'trichsters' are female.
What causes trich?
Like most mental illnesses, trichotillomania's prevalence is impacted by genetics and comorbid disorders, although scientists are unsure what other factors, if any, come into play.
It is not the suffers' fault!!! (extra emphasis highly necessary). It is not a choice, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Like diabetes, depression or an allergy, trich is a medical illness and deserves to be taken seriously.
What treatment options are available?
Unlike physical ailments, mental illnesses can be very difficult to treat. Fortunately, utilization of medication, cognitive behavioural therapy and support networks can make trich very manageable.
What did Olivia Munn say about her experience with trich?
Olivia shared, "I rip out my eyelashes..." She also divulged that she has a comorbid disorder: social anxiety disorder. "I don't think anyone would describe me as weak, but I don't want people to be mean to me... I moved around a lot when I was younger and no one was nice to the new kid. So there is always this feeling that someone will make fun of me". [Source]
What's your personal experience with trich?
I've pulled my hair for as long as I can remember. As a child suffering from Selective Mutism, I often twirled my hair in an effort to self-soothe, and when that didn't work I would resort to pulling out my hair.
Like most trich sufferers, I was completely unaware of what I was doing until I started therapy.
Even now, in my occasional bouts of hair-pulling, I am often unaware of what I am doing until I've started.
I'm happy to say that with a mixture of learning healthy self-soothing techniques and treating my comorbid disorders, my trich is largely nonexistant.
There is hope!
Request information about hair-pulling from Trichotillomania Learning Center
Follow Olivia Munn on twitterFollow me on twitter & ask me anything!
I don't need another person to complete me.
Others improve my life, love me and I love them,
but they do not define who I am;
Image: Smiling from the inside out by Geekr.