Anxious? Just Do It!

Don't think about it! Breathe and just do it!
If you have to do something that petrifies you, here's the secret to getting it done with as little anxiety as possible: Just do it. Don't even think about it. Forcing yourself to 'just do it' allows you no time to create worst case scenarios in your head or find a way to back out.

Yesterday I had to have a blood test. I'm not scared of needles, but I'm terrified of the way I feel after getting one. I feel faint, nauseous, sweaty. About six months ago I actually blacked out after a blood test.

So yesterday when my doctor told me I'd need a blood test to help figure out what's causing my new chronic pain symptom, I froze. And said no. And then, "can I take an Ativan and ask someone to come with me?". She said, "Why don't you do it now? Get it over with. Don't think about it. You can do this".

I shook my head, but then I considered it. Wouldn't having the test now, even if my worst fears came true, be less scary than waiting a week, imagining passing out over and over, and then having to deal with the test? 

So I agreed. I did the test. It was awful. It took half an hour to find a vein and I almost passed out again... But I did it. And the triumphant feeling of knowing I faced my fear and came out on the other side was worth every moment of anxiety.

5 Signs You're Dating the Right Person

Even if you don't believe in Mr. Right, there's definitely someone out there who's right for you. But how do you know you've found him? 

1 He's understanding of your disability. Never, ever settle for someone who thinks less of you because of your disability and how it affects your life. If he can't get past your medication, your cane, your weekly therapy or difficulty with things like stairs or numbers, he'll have to get past the fact that he's not good enough for you.

2 He makes you as happy as you make him. Relationships are full of give and take, but they're not healthy when they're all give and no take, or vice versa. Think about how he makes you feel, and how he responds to your words, your touch, your time together. Everyone deserves someone who makes them happy.

3 He pushes you to become the best you, you can be. This isn't to say he convinces you to take college class upgrades or makes you exercise 5 times a week (that's a little extreme, and may not even align with your goals!). A supportive partner simply encourages you to try new things, cheers you on as you race toward the finish line and dries your tears when you don't succeed, knowing you'll do better next time.

4 When you see little things that remind you of him, you smile. I believe healthy relationships (romantic or otherwise) lead to an increase in moments that make you smile. So if you see a car that looks like his, happen to wear his favourite colour or hear your song on the radio and can't help but grin, he's probably the one for you.

5 He makes time for you. Yes, we're adults so we have responsibilities. But being an adult means being able to make a choice to push all responsibilities to the side for a day because some things (or people) are just as important as work and school. Just like it's your job to feed yourself nutritious food three times a day, it's also your prerogative to occasionally eat cake for breakfast because it makes you happy.

Note: I know many of my readers identify as LGBTQ+ (myself included!). I simply use the masculine pronoun in this article for ease of understanding.

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Does Obesity Make Kids Do Worse In School?

"You don't like that I'm fat, so you're calling me stupid?"
Does Obesity Make Kids Do Worse In School? I recently read this article, and predictably, it was maddening.

The article starts, "Puberty is hard enough on kids. It's worse for those [who] don't conform to whatever beauty standards pre-teens are aggressively marketed these days". Already, from the second sentence, a there is a tone of casual victim-blaming. Of course school is harder for those to whom a stigma is attached-- life is harder when you're part of a group which is systematically oppressed.

Apparently a new study has found that "for 11-year-old girls, obesity likely affects educational test scores throughout adolescence. For boys, the evidence remains unclear". To which I say: of course (again). Of course girls are more affected by societal pressure to be thin than boys are. This is male privilege.

Further: of course it's likelier that a girl of size (rather than her thinner peer) will not fare well at school. This has nothing to do with how smart, hard-working or capable she is, and everything to do with:

-Fat shaming. 
-Eating disorders.
-Anxiety and depression.

All of which a person of size is likelier to be affected by.

Instead of digging for reasons why fat people are worth less than our thin peers (hint: we're not!), let's focus on fighting the stigma attached to obesity.

What Not To Do When Your Girlfriend Has a Breakdown

Don't try to fix her. She is not a car that won't start. She is not a dog. She is not a cracked vase on your grandmother's mantel.

Don't smile and say "my love is the best therapy". Talk therapy and medication are the best therapy. (You wouldn't replace insulin with kisses, would you?)

And for the love of God, don't just disappear.

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Borderline vs Balance

Balance is the hardest thing for a person with Borderline Personality Disorder to achieve. Most of the time that's what we crave; a happy existence in the grey area. Unfortunately, BPD causes us to be precariously perched on the Black Side or the White Side at all times.

Am I ecstatically happy or dreadfully sad? Is my boyfriend/father/friend/teacher the greatest man to ever live, or the devil incarnate? Do I want to live forever, or must I kill myself this second?

It sounds melodramatic, but this is truly how we think. We can't not. Autopilot drives us from Black to White and back again. Sometimes all we can do is hold on tight.

Image: WikiMedia Commons
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